Guidelines for Enlightenment in
the Next Millennium
1. Be a Fundamentalist―make sure the Fun always comes
before the mental. Realize that life is a situation comedy that will never
be canceled. A laugh track has been provided, and the reason why we are
put in the has been provided, and the reason why we are put in the
material world is to get more material. Have a good laughsitive twice a
day, and that will ensure regularity.
2. Remember that each of us has been given a special gift,
just for entering - so you are already a winner!
3. The most powerful tool on the planet today is
Tell-A-Vision. That is where I tell a vision to you, and you tell a vision
to me. That way, if we don't like the programming we're getting, we can
simply change the channel.
4. Life is like photography. You use the negative to develop.
5. It is true. As we go through life thinking heavy
thoughts, thought particles tend to get caught between the ears, causing a
condition called truth decay. So be sure to use mental floss twice a day.
And when you're tempted to practice tantrum yoga, remember that we teach
Swami's Absurdivness Training class *Don't get even, get odd.
6. If we want world peace, we must let go of our attachments and truly
live like nomads. That's where I no mad at you, you no mad at me. That
way, there'll surely be no madness on the planet. And peace begins with
each one of us. A little peace here, a little peace there, pretty soon all
the peaces will fit together to make one big peace everywhere.
7. I know great earth changes have been predicted for the
future, so if you're looking to avoid earthquakes, my advise is simple.
When you find a fault, just don't dwell on it.
8. There's no need to change the world. All we have to do
is toilet train the world, and we'll never have to change it again.
9. If you're looking to find the key to the Universe, I
have some bad news and some good news. The bad news is there is no key to
the Universe. The good news is it has been left unlocked.
10. Finally, everything I have told you is channeled. That
way, if you don't like it, it's not my fault. And remember, enlightenment
is not a bureaucracy; so we don't have to go through channels.
―Author Unknown
The information found in
this site should only be used to educate and not as a basis for
diagnosis or treatment. It is not
intended to replace the advice of a licensed professional.
